Blog: Entry for February 12, 2010

My previous post about precious sleeping babies got me thinking a little deeper about sleep. I have just put my son down for his second nap. As much as I know he needs sleep for many reasons, I have come to realize how much I need him to sleep.

This is Mommy’s time for chores, and cooking and cleaning and all that other fun stuff that mommy’s do. He has ALWAYS been a good sleeper, and I have never had a problem with him falling asleep. However, it seems recently that as he has learned to sit and became more active that his desire for sleep is much less than my need for it.

We have a screaming match just about every time I put him down into his crib, and as much as I love him it frustrates me beyond belief. His temper is much bigger than any 8 month olds should be, and his stubborn and strong will, well we’ll just say he got that from his momma.

If he doesn’t want to go to sleep then how dare I make him, cause I’m mean and hateful. If he just yells “mama” enough then I will come rescue him from the evil sleep trying to capture him. Believe me, some times I want to. It’s hard to listen t your baby cry out for you knowing what will happen if you pick them up and enable them. I have to be the adult here, which is very hard when I want to fall out and cry too.

To knowingly and willingly let my totally dependent child lay in his crib and cry seems so wrong and goes against my emotions on so many levels. But I know it is very necessary, and even though he is unhappy, well that is something he will just have to get used to.

My job as a “Mommy” is not to make him happy, if it was I would fail. Miserably. My job is to keep him safe, and teach him skills he will need as an adult, when he is having his own babies and walking on egg shells while they sleep (or at least when he wishes they will). There are some parts of being a parent that I can honestly say I do not enjoy. This is one.

The benefits of it all however are worth it, because once he finally does fall asleep today, I can stand over him and let out a sigh of relief because my angel baby has found his much needed sleep and be happy for him, as well as myself. The tough part is getting through this moment.

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