Okay, so I have to get an entry in for today. Been a busy week, and I haven’t had much time to write an update, so this seems as good a time as any. Not a whole lot new going on, just doing chores and the “Mommy things”.
Today, I’ve vacuumed both levels of the apt. and swept and mopped all the floors, getting ready to do dishes in a few, after I eat lunch. Then I’m going to feed Zaden and get him to bed. Then kick back for the rest of the night and relax. YES!!! I need it, after my drama this week with my hair and that stuff.
Yesterday I went to Walmart, and got some things I needed for the house, mop solution and some food and got a haircut. That’s about all I did that day. Sunday, me and mom and Zaden went to church, then to dinner at the Chinese place here in town. I always love eating there.
I’ve been staying busy lately, to keep from going crazy. With my boyfriend Anthony working, it’s been hard on me to find things to do. I realize thanks to my mom and sister, that this is not healthy, so I am finding things to do with my time to occupy myself, and be entertained on my own.
I love this man, but I think it’s going a little too far. It’s borderline dependency now, and that’s not very healthy, so I’m going to change all that.
Zaden is still screaming. He does it almost all day now. Nothing seems to trigger it or fix it, so me and my nerves pay the price, and take a big toll. It takes everything I have not to get a head ache, and some times I do. I’m not sure what can be done about this except to just let him scream.
He has this high pitched blood curdling scream, that’s as loud as it is annoying. It’s like being thumped over and over on your arm, eventually you want to slap whoever is doing the thumping. I cannot slap my son, even if I wanted to, so I have to calm my nerves by breathing and listening to music. This works most days. When it doesn’t, I leave the room or go outside until I calm down.
I knew motherhood would be a test of my love and patience, but I always thought they were talking about the teenage years. Loving a child who disobeys daily, and says they hate you, or being patient with a child who refuses to listen and smarts off. I had no idea this would start so early.
Oh well, good thing for him he is cute, and his smile fixes anything! Just don’t tell him that…