There are so many things that can bring a mother to tears. The first time your child is hurt, the first time they go to school, the first time they do something amazing and for whatever reason you’re not there to witness it. I’ve been there, done that, bought the tee shirt and the bumper sticker. Those are things no mother enjoys having to go through. But we all know they are a part of being a parent so we endure them. But I challenge you to find a mom who is told her three year old needs medicine and can take it lightly.
That’s right. My baby needs medicine. Looking back on it, I guess it really shouldn’t be surprising. I have ADHD and some other diagnoses and have been on medicine in the past. BUT HE’S THREE! And he’s my baby, and I don’t want him to need medicine. I know, I know. I sounded like a toddler throwing a tantrum, but I honestly don’t care. He’s my perfect precious everything, and perfect means he doesn’t need to be on meds.
I’ve spent his whole life trying to give him everything. I try so hard to give my son the world. After all, he can be and do and think anything he wants. I catered an environment of nurturing and love, and all I wanted in return was a normal, happy little boy who wanted for nothing. And I just feel like I failed him, as well as myself. I can’t help but feel that it’s my fault. My diagnoses have passed down the line to my child. The only true love there is, a bond between mom and child has this ugliness forced upon it.
I know my posts are usually more chipper, but I just had to get this off my chest. This isn’t something I could handle by myself.
For now, I’ll stay strong. For now, I’ll hold on.