Taming the beast

English: The Hudson Sea Monster. Seeing as no ...

English: The Hudson Sea Monster. Seeing as no one else put forth the effort to make a visual reference to this beast, I did. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

You know the feeling, after a long hard day, when you come home, flop on your couch turn on the tv, and just try to veg out? Of course you do. Everyone has those days occasionally, some more so than others. Chances are if you’re a mother, then you also know what it’s like when half way through your veg fest, your thoughts are interrupted by a loud and demanding “MOM!” This is usually closely followed by you prying your limp body off the couch and dragging yourself to their room to complete some such task. Usually killing a spider or scaring away a monster, or looking at the painting the made on the hallway walls, and then later on cleaning up the masterpiece.

This, has been my life for the last week. I haven’t scraped any paintings off the walls lately, but I have scared away a few closet monsties who were picking on my baby boy.

Can you remember a time when all you wanted was to relax, but instead your other job (being a mom) took over? I’d love to hear about it.


Waiving the white flag

Sun Pillar

Sun Pillar (Photo credit: tomhe)

Some see surrender as defeat. Afterall, in a football game, what happens when one team doesn’t show? It’s a forfeit and the team who managed to show up wins by default. The team who was MIA is basically surrendering (although rarely willingly) to the team who managed to make it to the game. I am one of those people.

I am the type of person who refuses to ask for help when I have a problem. I’m not talking about locating the Produce isle in a store. No. I’ll ask for that so I can leave quicker and not have to wander around for 15 minutes trying to find it. I’m talking huge things.

Things that can cause me to not live the best quality life. I’ve never noticed how mentally and emotionally unhealthy my life is. I always manage to appear together in public. My private life, if some one saw it, I can’t even image what would go on inside that person’s mind.

My goal for the rest of 2013, is to live my life in a more positive and self promoting way. No more self destruction. No more false appearances. I am going to be the me, that I always knew I was.

Who is the person you are? Who do you want to be? Are they the same? I’d love to hear your comments.

Potty training the untrainable

I find myself in a place I sore I’d never be, doing something I swore I would never do. We have all done this to some degree. Like shouting something at your kids that you told yourself 5 or 10 or 15 years ago when your mom shouted it at you, that you would NEVER say that to your kids. But I’m not talking about that. No, this is much more complex. I’m talking about potty training my four year old.


Now, you can say and think what you want. But trust me, I’ve seen and heard it all. And It’s not like we haven’t been trying. For the last year and a half, everyday, every hour, we throw him on the potty. I’ve purchased 4 different kinds thinking that maybe he will like a Sponge Bob one, or Bob the Builder. Once we were at a store and he said he wanted a Dora one and despite the cashiers looks we bought it. We took it home, unwrapped it and he refused to sit on it. He uses it now as a step stool in his room.


It seems that he may just  untrainable. Yes, I know that’s a made up word, but it’s the perfect word to describe my Zaden. Although today I’m praying for a breakthrough. Just like yesterday and the day before. It feels like I’m the only mother of a four year old who tries this hard, and still had to buy diapers. So, what do you think? Am I alone?


it's potty time!

it’s potty time! (Photo credit: theparadigmshifter)



Keeping in Touch


Child 1

Child 1 (Photo credit: Tony Trần)


It’s hard for me to go this long without writing, and I wish I had something interesting to say. These past few months have been challenging to say the least, but through it all I have learned many things. I’ve learned that family stands by their own in times of hardship. Within that lesson I have learned who my true family is. I’ve seen by example who cares for me and who doesn’t. Sometimes it takes something major to bring people together or to tear them apart.


Can you really put a price on family?




Moving forward

With each passing day i notice a new issue in my house. Under this roof are 3 people who are struggling within themselves to get by, to be happy. Its an uphill battle each day for everything.

My son continues his fight to control his behaviors. Upset when he can’t find the words to express himself. Trying to find his own voice is an epic battle.

Anthony is fighting to stay sane while the two of us wage war on ourselves. This never ending fight because i work too much
, or I’m not there for him when he’s going through things (his mom was recently diagnosed with cancer).

And me…..oh my issues are endless as well.

I keep telling myself all will right itself in the end. It has to, for zadens sake

Be weary of the moment

There comes a time in a mother’s life when she is forced to understand the magnitude of our role. We play mommy, we play wifey, most of us even play employee, or boss. But has anyone ever sat and thought about how these roles define us? We eat, sleep, and breath what we do. It’s not a jacket we can take off like a CEO returning home after a stressful day. We go from working in stress, meeting deadlines, pushing papers, pounding the pavement; and then we come home, to making dinner, wiping noses and bottoms, and listening to partners complain about how their day was so hard.

No one will understand this better than another mother. I think inside we all know this. No matter how badly we want our male counterparts to understand how we feel, there’s a part of us who knows they won’t. Our brains are wired differently. I know what you’re thinking, but trust me it’s not some excuse to give them some slack for nothing getting what we go through. It’s an honest to god fact.

A man is driven to protect his family. He wants to feel needed and to have some purpose in life. That purpose is us and our kids. So when we come to him, obviously upset and in turmoil, his instinct is to fix it. “We can’t afford all our bills? I’ll take more shifts at work.” The solution is simple to him, and the decision final. But to us, when we don’t see him enough as it is, the thought of him leaving us to do more work around the house in his absence, isn’t exactly palatable.

A lot of our issues as partners stems from mis-communication.

Now what does this have to do with kids, you’re wondering. I has everything to do with how we raise our kids. Our kids are like little sponges, as I’m now learning with my 3 year old. They pick up on what you say, but more than that, they can pick up on how you feel. A high stress, high energy environment isn’t conducive to letting them grow and learn.

Please, let us all (myself included) Take a look at how we love our other halves. Let’s love them deeply, and love ourselves truly. It doesn’t need to stop now than Valentine’s Day has past.

And it shouldn’t. What are your thoughts on this. I’d love to read some. Please leave a comment if you feel so inclined. and as always, have an amazing day!

Happy Valentine’s Day

This video says more than I ever could. I know it’s a bit unrelated to the topic of this blog: my son. But Love is Love is Love, no matter who you are sharing it with.

Thanks for sharing it with me.